Sunday, January 10, 2010

"So tell me again why you're tired?"

This is what non-parents tend to ask me a lot so I thought I'd detail a normal weekend day such as today...

6:45am...Laura wakes up with Logan who definitely has a cold. A 5-month old with a cold is not a good thing. They can't eat or sleep for long because they can't breath. And unlike you or me they can't pick or blow their nose. So they're screwed, and so are you by the way...

7:30am...I get up. I slept longer because I was up till 1:30am on the computer. And I got up twice during the night when Avery had nightmares...

8am...Breakfast is a 90-minute process of cooking and handing Logan off like a football while Laura preps...I have the first of many memories of when Laura and I were childless and we vacationed in New Orleans. Stumbling around Bourbon Street at 1am is the memory I'm rehashing right now....might as well have been 20 years ago...

9:30am...House clean-up. We're breaking in a new babysitter and the place is a disaster. "Clean-up" is actually inaccurate. Think of it more as placing crap in semi-neat piles all around the house. With two kids tugging at you...

10am...Taylor arrives and Laura immediately preps to go to the gym. I'm heading out to get some more java at the local coffee shop. Logan is already down and Laura is leaving in 10 minutes. I'm absolutely sure that Logan will wake up as soon as Laura's car has left the garage, and she'll scream so loud and long that our new babysitter will be turned into a suicidal wreck within 15 minutes. So I need to get back by 10:25am to talk her off the ledge...

10:30am...I get back home. No ledge. Logan is still down, thank the lord...

11am...I actually get some work done on the computer while Taylor entertains Avery and Logan still sleeps.

12:30am...Laura gets home and I immediately prep for the gym. By 1pm I am out the door. Body is tired from lack of sleep but that's life and I'm a bear when I'm not active...

3:45pm...I have a two hour workout and get back home before 4pm, ready for the dinner time "grind." Dinner is usually a beast because we have to trade Logan off twice as often as we did at breakfast. She's sick and the closer she is to 7pm bedtime the rougher it usually gets even when she's well...

5:30pm...Avery has had a great day but she didn't nap and now she's falling apart. I raised my voice on two separate occasions and she burst into tears. I was right to raise my voice but seeing your three-year old turned into a sobbing mound of jelly is not fun. I'm too tired to really feel bad. She'll get over it...

6pm...She falls apart again and all I can do is laugh...she's transitioning out of taking naps and once in awhile she goes haywire around 5pm because she's exhausted. Lucky us. Today is one of those days.

6:05pm...I ask Laura if she wants me to go out and get wine. We have none. Since we've been back from Florida we've been on this "sobriety kick." It feels moronic and ridiculous right now but we heard somewhere that not every set of parents blows through a bottle of wine every night. I haven't met them....

6:15pm...Hand off time. Laura is cooking and I'm walking around a dead tired infant who wants nothing more than to fall asleep on my shoulder. But 6:15pm is too early so I do a half hour dance with Logan; she cries, nearly falls asleep, then cries again. Rinse and repeat. Meanwhile I'm also trying to keep Avery entertained while Laura cooks...easy, right?

6:30pm...I ask Laura again if she wants wine. My shoulder has a grapefruit sized drool stain on it courtesy of Logan. I've been carrying around an 18 pound sack for 20 minutes and my back aches. I'm dead tired and I want alcohol. Even if I have to consume it under a park bench out of a paper bag...

7pm...Dinner. Thank the lord. No wine....

7:08pm It's great to be able to take 8 minutes to sit down, relax and connect with your family after a long day but the table has to be cleared, dishes have to be done and two kids have to be put to bed...

7:15pm...Laura puts Logan down. An extended affair because Logan still can't breath so she has a hard time falling asleep. I read to Avery and I can tell Logan has given her the cold.

7;45pm...Laura looks like a truck ran her over and dragged her three city streets for good measure. I probably look the same...we pay bills while collapsing on the couch and staring at the floor...

8:15pm...This is where the two of us should be working on our five small businesses. Planning the future. Getting creative. Sure. I can barely type. Laura heads upstairs. Logan will be up ten times tonight guaranteed because she can't breath. At some point Laura will sleep sitting up with Logan attached to her boob, snorting...

8:45pm...I was trying to rally and get some computer work done, ahhh but there's Avery crying now because she woke up since she can't breath....she's exhausted and congested and I rub her back for 5 minutes. I contemplate sucking the snot out of her nose with my mouth. I don't but I think if I had the wine I might have....the Eagles lyric from "Lyin" Eyes" plays in my head...."Another night....it's gonna be a long one...."

So go ahead, ask me again why I'm so tired??? Answer: cause I'm a parent, that's why...

2 comments:

  1. Food for thought: why are you guys stretching Logan out till a 7:15 bedtime? Sounds like she could do a much earlier one and ease your evening a bit. A & P went down at 6:00 at that age! That was their bedtime till about age 2. Ah those were the days. Same goes for Miss Avery with the dropping of the nap. Much earlier bedtime! Doesn't change when they wake up. It's still early. But sleep begets sleep. And hopefully makes for a happier household all around!!!!

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  2. Not bad thoughts and actually the last two days we've worked on that...we've always been afraid if L goes down at 6:30pm that she'll wake up an hour earlier...and Avery is transitioning out of napping but sometimes she falls apart at 5pm...LIKE TODAY...and when she naps there's no shot she'll go down at 7:30pm...but we're working on it!

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